| (no subject) |
[Jun. 15th, 2006|12:36 pm] |
hey friends! you should friend my new journal if you haven't yet! it would make me oh so happy
here you go ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) lovely_grey
thanks =) |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 29th, 2005|07:24 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  lazy | ] |
Well, this break has been pretty much the same as every other break; a mix of great times with friends and suckiness at home. It started off with a grand adventure that entailed driving downtown, with 7 of us crammed into a tiny 4 person car going The Spot. Afterwards, around 1am, we decided to go sledding at Black Creek park, and had a joyous and surprisingly injury-free(neglecting a few minor welts and bruises)time. Other adventures have included numerous late night Tim Horton's invasions, braving the mob scene at the mall and buying way too many clothes I don't need (I swear that clearance racks have mind control powers over me), going to see King Kong which really wasn't very good, a board game night which seemed like a fun idea but I was all board gamed out after like 10 minutes, and then tonight the gang went to this dance studio and we took group cha cha lessons! It was so incredibly fun; there were all these older people there that were all so good (including my high school english teacher Miss Carlo who is crazy but I absolutely love her), and these happy old men kept asking me to dance with them and I was so embarrassed because they were so good and I was awful and kept stepping on their toes, but oh well, it was still a great time.
Christmas was nice; nothing too crazy, just presents and dinner and hanging out with the fam and such. I was really happy to see my aunt who came home from California for the holiday, and found out that she's moving back to Rochester for good sometime this coming year, which is super exciting. I might possibly live with her when I come home for summer, but, I'm not quite sure about that yet. It's not that I have a horrible family or anything, I mean, every family is messed up at least a little bit and mine is no exception, but I love them so much and I know they love me, and when I'm away from home everything is fine. I hate how when love is unconditional like most love within family is, it's so easy to devalue it and treat the people you love/love you badly because you know you're not going to lose that love. It's really sad actually...it seems that a big reason we're so nice to our friends in comparison is not because we're nice people, but because we know that if we weren't nice, we would lose their friendship. Of course this isn't always the case, but it plays a big part I think. I take my family's love for me for granted a whole lot. They do so much for me and care about me so much, and I never spare them from my bad moods or irritability when I'm here. I need to stop doing that. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 12th, 2005|11:47 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "All Souls Night" Loreena McKennitt | ] |
There isn't much that makes me happier than Christmas time. Right now the snow is fluffy and the cold is bearable, and I can't wait to be home and pick out a tree with my grandpa and make cookies with my mom and watch Muppet Christmas Carol and Home Alone and the 24 hour Christmas Story marathon and The Year without a Santa Claus, and hopefully see an RPO holiday concert and give my aunt a really big hug when she flies in from California and go sledding and ice skating and go to midnight mass with all the pretty candles and singing and I can't wait to give presents and open presents and wear my toe socks that say "toe ho ho" on the toes and ohhhh I love Christmas. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 29th, 2005|03:02 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | blah | ] |
I was always skeptical when people said to me there would come a time when "home isn't home anymore". Well, it definitely happened. I don't know how or why, and I'm not particularly happy or sad about it. It was just different. Yeah. But overall break was decent. Saw the most excellent new Harry Potter movie and hung out with my RIT boys, had some good times with Ben and Peter and Mike, typical thanksgiving dinner with the fam except Jeff came so it was more fun than usual, did some crazy early black friday shopping with the girls, chilled with Stevo, went on a lovely coffee outing with Lex, went to 2 crazy weddings during the last two days, and received a visit from my super hot boyfriend. Yeah, it was a good time. I'm glad to be back at school though, even though these last weeks are going to kill me, along with everyone else I think. Oh well. Such is life.
hey look, a survey
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Sara Genevieve Culhane
Birthday: 2/8/85
Birthplace: Rochester NY
Current Location: Fredonia NY
Eye Color: brown
Hair Color: red
Height: 5'3
Right Handed or Left Handed: righty
Your Heritage: mostly irish, a little german and english and somewhere in there I'm related to Pocahontas supposedly
The Shoes You Wore Today: sandals
Your Weakness: caring too much about what people think of me
Your Fears: hurting others, criticism, apathy
Your Perfect Pizza: pizza is yucky
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: find joy in something new every day
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: hehe
Thoughts First Waking Up: i totally missed my first class didn't i
Your Best Physical Feature: my hair perhaps
Your Bedtime: the night is young
Your Most Missed Memory: high school musicals and youth group
Pepsi or Coke: pepsi
MacDonalds or Burger King: yuck and yuck
Single or Group Dates: a lil bit of both; variety is good
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: whatever
Chocolate or Vanilla: vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee: coffee
Do you Smoke: no
Do you Swear: rarely
Do you Sing: yes i do
Do you Shower Daily: usually
Have you Been in Love: yes
Do you want to go to College: oh well, I'm here
Do you want to get Married: someday
Do you belive in yourself: it depends
Do you get Motion Sickness: nah
Do you think you are Attractive: nope
Are you a Health Freak: I wish
Do you get along with your Parents: not lately
Do you like Thunderstorms: best ever
Do you play an Instrument: french horn and a little piano and guitar
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: yes
In the past month have you Smoked: no
In the past month have you been on Drugs: no
In the past month have you gone on a Date: yep
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: yep
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: nope
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: ewww
In the past month have you been on Stage: yes
In the past month have you been Dumped: nope
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: I did over the summer!
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: nope
Ever been Drunk: yes
Ever been called a Tease: nope
Ever been Beaten up: no one messes with me
How do you want to Die: painlessly, when I'm old, and I don't want to know it's gonna happen
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: a composer, performer, writer, wife, mom, philosopher
What country would you most like to Visit: fiji
that was a dumb survey. sorry. |
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| if only we could truly know |
[Nov. 17th, 2005|09:21 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sad | ] |
You are nothing more and nothing less than a beautiful creation. Each and every part of you, good and bad, has been forged by love and has been crafted deliberately; so very deliberately, because you have been given the gift of life; life with struggle and joy and heartache and fear and excitement and purpose. Even if you say you don't believe it, you cannot hide from this reality. I cannot hide from this reality. I can't hide from it. nope. can't do it.
Every once in awhile I like the bible.
Psalm 139
.
Lord, you have searched me
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 11th, 2005|02:37 pm] |
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My wonderful RIT friends, I need your help! The other day my computer shut down on its own, and when I went to turn it on it had a message saying that windows couldn't start and it gave me a few options of how to load windows but none of them work and I can't get it to log on to windows. Any ideas??? |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 9th, 2005|07:14 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | restless | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "The Village" Soundtrack | ] |
I registered for classes next semester, and my schedule actually looks appealing for once. I'm taking two Music theory classes; aural and written, Conducting 2, Music History 2, Philosophy of the Arts, and German Film; plus horn lessons, composition lessons, and ensembles. Comes to 18 credits which is actually less than I'm used to, but I'm still trying to get this whole practicing thing going, so hopefully this will give me a little more time. I'm particularly excited about my philosophy class and German Film class...they both look really cool.
I'm looking forward to thanksgiving break immensely; I really need to escape this place for a bit; the stress of work plus the ridiculous high school drama going on is too much for me right now. Home is going to feel really nice.
| You Belong in Rome | 
You're a big city girl with a small town heart
Which is why you're attracted to the romance of Rome
Strolling down picture perfect streets, cappuccino in hand
And gorgeous Italian men - could life get any better? |
*sigh* makes me want to get outta this crazy country even more |
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| why do i think about this crap |
[Nov. 7th, 2005|08:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | melancholy | ] |
two interdependent epidemics of the human race: the eagerness to hate and the eagerness to be offended. The former creates a need for rights movements, the latter causes such movements to crumble from the inside out. Still, for the life of me I can't comprehend having either one of these mentalities. It amazes me that people can get so wrapped up in themselves without suffocating.
ps - I am batman. yesssss.
 | You scored as Batman, the Dark Knight. As the Dark Knight of Gotham, Batman is a vigilante who deals out his own brand of justice to the criminals and corrupt of the city. He follows his own code and is often misunderstood. He has few friends or allies, but finds comfort in his cause.
Lara Croft | | 79% | Batman, the Dark Knight | | 79% | Captain Jack Sparrow | | 75% | James Bond, Agent 007 | | 71% | Indiana Jones | | 67% | El Zorro | | 67% | The Amazing Spider-Man | | 67% | Neo, the "One" | | 67% | William Wallace | | 58% | Maximus | | 58% | The Terminator | | 29% | </td>
Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 5th, 2005|04:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | madonna, ha | ] |
I don't want to be a music teacher. At least, right now I don't know if I want to be one. It's not that I'm giving up or the work is too hard or anything like that; it's just not where my hear is. I want to have absolutely no idea what I'm going to do when I graduate; for some people that's scary, but for me it's exciting. I want life to be an adventure. So now I'm just music composition. And I'm so happy. Composing is something I love doing, and I've been loving my comp lessons and I've been learning so much and I'm so glad I get to really focus on that now. Before it felt like because there's so much to do for music ed, my composing had to be put on the back burner, but now, it's what I do. I'm a composer. I like how that sounds =).
Last night I went to a belated halloween party that was thrown by all the theater majors who had auditions last weekend and thus were unable to party then. I can't afford to buy a costume and I found out about the party only a few days beforehand, so I had to whip out some warp speed creativity. I ended up being what I call "the seasons" for halloween. I put on an earth tone shirt and then my two piece bathing suit on over it, then I wore my pink ugg boots, a scarf, and on my way over to the party I grabbed some tree branches and stuck them in my hair. Yes, am I am sure you are imagining, I was pretty hot. The party itself was a decent time. I didn't stay too late because I was exhausted, and thanks to a few mixed drinks I actually went home and slept for a good number of hours.
This morning I went out in dunkirk with Emily, and it was a lovely time. We got coffee at Timmy Ho's and decided to go sit by the lake and drink it. On our way there we found this big flea market sale inside a church's gymnasium, and it was the coolest thing. I got a whole bag full of wonderfully frumpy clothing for $1.50, a fan with japanese artwork on it for 50 cents, a really cool ring for $2, and my favorite purchase was this really old, thick dusty book of Ralph Waldo Emerson poems and essays. I'm really excited about reading it, and it cost me a buck. It was like Christmas, man. After the flea market we made our way to the dunkirk piere, where we watched psycho seagulls dive bombing the water and just talked about life. I've decided it's a good subject. Emily asked me if I wanted to stay with her in fredonia next summer because she'll be staying here alone taking summer classes. She has a really cute house and we'd be staying in it for free. I'm really considering it...it would be a lot more peaceful than living at home, and we'd definitely have some good times.
Ahhh I feel so good right now. I came back here and deep cleaned my room because it's been an absolute disaster all semester, and for some reason when my room is clean I feel like I'm less crazy or something, and I deal with things. Strange. Then I went for a 3 mile run and I'm so ridiculously out of shape but hopefully I'll get my routine going finally, and that will change. Tonight I get to work saturday late night at Denny's....hopefully there will be some amusing drunken customer encounters (who tip really well because they don't realize how much they're giving me ) to make the night a little less long. Then my boy is finally coming home and that makes me oh so happy =). that's all for now. I hope all is well with anyone who made it this far to the end of my post. And, I guess even if you didn't make it I hope you're doing all right too. hehe. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 3rd, 2005|09:03 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  uncomfortable | ] |
It absolutely kills me when people I love and care about are hurting, and there's nothing I can do for them. And I've begun to hate it when people say "pray for them". I feel like it's such a cop out because it's so easy to do....you don't have to take any action, just have some "faith" and sit back and watch. I'm not saying that I don't believe in the power of prayer, but, I just hate it when that's the sole solution people come up with, and they make it out to be some big act of compassion. It's not enough for me. I need to start being a better friend; a better daughter; a better person; because I haven't looked outside of myself in far too long and it's sickening. I hate music. I hate what it does to people. A person should not be a slave to anything; especially something that's meant to add beauty to life. I hate money. I want to live in one of those underdeveloped countries where everyone lives in little huts on the beach and gathers berries all day and they dance and sing together and everyone is happy because life is simple. My head feels like mush. I'm going to go for a really long run tonight. Then I think I'm going to try to actually sleep. All right. It's a plan. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 31st, 2005|07:28 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  numb | ] |
"today will be different"
= the lie I tell myself every morning and never stop believing.
i
I'm losing sight of the fine line that separates hope from stupidity |
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| why am I such a mental case |
[Oct. 26th, 2005|10:42 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cold | ] |
I didn't know it was possible to be so happy and so incredibly miserable at the exact same time. Like, I'm crying right now and I couldn't even begin to explain why. Maybe it's just because I'm sick of being such a stranger to myself; it's as if I'm a spectator of my own existence. I fear everything; everyone. I fear that people look at me and see all of the ugliness inside; and they're nice to me because it makes them feel better about themselves, but then when I leave the room they whisper to one another and laugh about how they can't stand my guts. Deep down I know I'm being ridiculously paranoid, but I keep shoving these thoughts to the back of my head and they just float back up to the surface. In writing all of this I feel that I'm simply joining the ranks of the majority of people who are sad, depressed, hopeless....when did it become so freaking hard to be happy? And how capable are we of creating that happiness for ourselves? Is that ability a complete illusion fabricated to maintain our sanity? Because like I said, I do feel happiness. But it's incomplete; it is shadowed. Or maybe it's not even there at all. Maybe I just want it so much, I convince myself I actually feel it.
Annnd I think I've exposed myself enough for one day.
(*note to self: stop writing livejournal entries when PMS strikes) |
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| interesting.... |
[Oct. 25th, 2005|01:20 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  awake | ] |
The Philosophy Test
Dark Age
You scored a 4 from -60 to 60.
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You are a wide array of things, a combination of reason, empirical
evidence, and a dash of religious fervor thrown in there for good
measure. You think the universe can and will be figured out, and is the
design of God. Generally, it's pretty tough to stay in this catagory
and make everything work out. St. Anselm, St. Thomas Aquinas and St.
Augustine were all Dark Age philosophers. |
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My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: | You scored higher than 89% on Virtue Points |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 22nd, 2005|04:19 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  thoughtful | ] |
for just a moment
I ran away to next october
so that I might take a look
at my aging face
paling from briefer daylight
my eyes seemed to know less
I shivered.
strange how each and every day
will rip us apart
put us back together
and we don't feel a thing
it's nothing near a wonder that
the boiling frogs
don't jump out. |
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| funny how a stupid blog quiz can lift your spirits on a crappy day.... |
[Oct. 21st, 2005|11:51 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | distressed | ] |
| Your Seduction Style: Au Natural | 
You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it.
That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power!
The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism.
You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world.
Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in.
You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you?
You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways.
Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you.
As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you. |
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| A short update followed by useless whining that you should not bother reading |
[Oct. 18th, 2005|12:27 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | gloomy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | drought - Vienna Teng | ] |
Ah, fall break. I love the feeling of going back home, and no matter how longs it's been, everything is still the same. It's as if I go away, and home just sits and waits for me to come back. Of course there are the little things that kill this warm and fuzzy feeling, like when they built a random Tim Horton's in the middle of the Kmart parking lot, or when my favorite tree in the world got CHOPPED DOWN. But alas, so is life. Still, I was able to spend some quality time with the fam, and Scott came up to visit which was so nice. We saw an excellent rochester phil concert at RIT, along with a few other lovely people, and afterwards we ventured into the city, hung out at Javas until it closed, then proceeded to get lost downtown trying to find High Falls. But you know, very often getting lost trying to find a place ends up being more fun than actually getting to where you want to go. Then on saturday I spent the day with my mom; we went pumpkin picking and then to three of my favorite places in the world: music lovers shop, starbucks, and target. Good times. Then we ended the break with some excellent movies; Keeping the Faith, and The Burbs.
I was really hoping that getting time to relax and catch up on sleep would help me to get back on the ball with this whole school thing. So far since I've been back, I slept through a class, missed the first day of a new class, and am currently missing a class as I'm typing this because it's oboe class and I'm so bad at it and I'm scared to go. I haven't practiced for a single minute, and a growing part of me is wondering what the heck am I even doing here because I no longer enjoy anything that I'm doing. I definitely have a lot of thinking to do. But what else is new. I just don't feel like I belong in Mason, at all. Almost everyone there seems so driven and focused and they at least appear like they have it all together, and, I....don't. At all. Also, everyone just lives and breathes music. They don't seem to think about much else. For me, music is a huge passion of mine. But it's not all of me. By any means. And I don't know what that tells me. What I do know is I miss taking english classes, and history, and maybe even science a little. I'm so sick of feeling like my value lies in things like how in or out of tune I am, or how well I can arpeggiate a fully diminished seventh chord. Maybe the real problem is I take everything too personally. I don't know. I just hate feeling so miserable all the time. I mean, I can smile and laugh and have fun, but there's always that little looming raincloud following me around and I don't know what it is. But it whispers such hopeless words to me, and I want it to leave. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 9th, 2005|08:57 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  good | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Tori, "Ireland" | ] |
A brief news update:
- I decided I'm sick of being a mediocre musician due to my laziness, and so I started practicing. Like, more than half an hour a week (yes I've been that awful about it). And I discovered something funny about practicing....It works. And, horn lessons are much, much more pleasant experiences. Ohhhh the epiphanies of my life.
- I auditioned for the Vagina Monologues this past week and found out yesterday that I made it. I'm excited, I've missed acting so much. At the first cast meeting we had to give our vaginas names. I named mine Georgia. I feel that being a part of this show is going to be a very interesting experience....
- I'm coming home for fall break on tuesday and I'm really really happy about that.
- friday night I finally lost my singleness, on a rooftop under the stars. It was lovely. And so is he =)
- I have a singing exam that I'm going to fail tomorrow because I'm writing in my livejournal instead of studying for it. so, that is all for now. peace out friends. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 27th, 2005|02:43 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  i did it | ] |
so it was about 1am this morning. I had just bought some tea and decided to have a cup before heading to bed. I put some water in my coffee traver mug and stuck it into the microwave. I failed to realize that the inside of my mug is lined with metal. About a minute later, my room was filled with smoke, and the fire alarm went off. I frantically started waving my bath towel around in the air, but it was of no use. The main dorm alarm was set off, and thus an entire strip of dorms had to evacuate. I got to have a nice chat with Leutenant Bob to make sure I didn't do such a thing intentionally, and after I told my story the police laughed at me. soooo basically half of fredonia hates my guts right now, and I have an immense fear of ever using microwaves ever again. goodnight.
ps - if anyone is reading this who was victim to my stupidity and was woken up in the middle of sleeping, I sincerely apologize from the bottom of my heart and please do not throw sharp or pointy objects at me tomorrow. thank you. |
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